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Oh shit son 2012
Well well well, a new year. Lets see what happens.

A lot has happened since I last posted so I'll just some up a few things.

Christmas sucked. Not that I care about material shit much, but I just felt crappy because I didn't get any good wishes from anyone aside from my parents and my brother. I wanted to buy gifts for others, but I had neither the means nor the people to do so which bummed me out quite a bit. For the next few days, I just felt like total shit since I pretty much had no contact with anyone. Loneliness and boredom are my disease it seems. Although I always feel kinda lame -- or at least I have for the past few years -- around the holiday season, this time it was way worse than usual. This time I actually had very violent sentiments; pronounced outward hostility toward other. That coupled with the fact that I was feeling some deep seeded resentment for myself and the like, it lead to the first time in ages that I had thoughts of suicide. I don't want to go toward that path again.

While I did feel like trash for most of New Years Eve, I talked to my friend Keegan and that made me feel a bit better. However, my friend Sara was having a little get together later that night and she invited me. I thought for sure my parents would not allow me to go, but to my surprise, I was. Went over her moms and lo and behold I pass her in her mom's car. Inside is her girlfriend Gracie, my friend Tyler, and Sara's younger brother. We went to Rite Aid to buy some boooooze because fuck it, ya know? Got some Southern Comfort and random shit to mix it with. We got back to her place and we see that her friends Whitney and Eddie are outside waiting for us. We go inside and mix dat shit up. Instead of regular boring drinking games, we decided to play Mexican lottery/bingo, which was pretty damn fun. Everyone but me and Eddie (who was going to be a designated driver) got drunk. We took a break and I went outside with Tyler, Whitney, and Eddie to have some herbage and that was fun for a while. A bit after midnight, we decided to go grab some food. That is when we came to an impasse since not all of us fit in Sara's car. So Sara had the bright idea of getting into the trunk.So we went to BK with Sara riding in the stashaway and she pops out of the trunk when we stop. However, that was incredibly bad timing since there was a police officer right behind us. He get pulled over obviously and everyone is freaking out. I was pretty calm until I found out that there was both opened alcohol in the car and weed (and no seatbelts to add insult to injury), and that is when I became a bit worried. However, we lucked out because Eddie turned out to know the officer that pulled us over and he let us go scott free. Damn pigs, would have shot him if I had the chance haha. Nah, it was cool of him to let us go like that.

Cameron has been acting kind of lame recently, but it's been justified a bit. He has been pestering me about rent, and I would pay him, but the banks have been closed. I went to both my bank and his bank today and they told me they were unable to send my money to his account. What a load of shit.

My friend Faustino's girlfriend Ana Virginia came over from Virginia for the holidays and because of that he hasn't talked to me. However, I talk to her too from time to time since she's pretty cool, and so they invited me over today. She is a tiny little person loool. Anyway, Faust was either trying to be nice or put up an act, I'm not really sure, but we got along well together. About an hour later, Cheque and Adan came over. They used to be my best friends back in high school, but I'll get into those details later. Since Ana is leaving tomorrow, we had to leave. So I came back home and read a bit of my book. Then I started writing this.

Well that is it for now, more tomorrow.

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I lol'd at "herbage".

Anyway, I'm terribly sorry that you felt that way during Christmas. I have times when I feel like that myself, and I hate it when people I care about experience the same thing. :(

<3 <3

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