I wake up late and that's already shitty, but I felt good. It was raining a bit so I wore my rain jacket. On my way to class though I ended up having a bike accident with some girl who wasn't paying attention to what she was doing. Go to class, we talk abit about special relativity and Galileo's ship. Was pretty interesting.
I get back home and I see Keegan. He tells me that he talked to Zhenya and Brian and that they weren't too compelled about the offer. This clearly stressed me out more. I then came up with another plan of trying to convince Keegan to living with me instead of them. I threw an offer at him that felt like it had some weight and I thought it was pretty convincing. Keegan went back to bed and I created a list of pros and cons. Spent about 2 hours on that and I felt pretty good about it. I thought that either I would live with 5 other people or that I would end up living with Keegan. Those seemed like good options. By the time 5 rolled around, Keegan and I talked some more and he said that he wasn't going to sign Wednesday because he didn;t like the idea of having a lease start in the summer. That relieved me because I thought that meant that he was considering my option over living with them.
Fast forward to about midnight and we head over to Zhenya's place. I hand my paper to Zhenya and he says it's pretty persuasive. I then hand it to Brian and he said that he would talk to Zhenya about it. Keegan and I leave to go back home. He ends up telling me that he's going to live with them no matter what because he gave them his word, which ended up stressing me out (you can see that there is a pattern here). We get back and we talk. We talk about housing, which eventually leads up to philosophy -- laws of nature, free will/determinism (I'll go into depth of that subject matter later) and my mental health (depression, suicide contemplation, and overall well being. I tell him how I am scared that I might have some mental illness. He convinces me to make an appointment tomorrow and that he will help me make it.
Now I am in my room typing away at this. I am stressed out about housing, school work, LSATs, law school, and my mental health. I don't need this stress and I hope something meaningful and good happens in my life soon, because otherwise... I don't know what.
I think I will share this journal with my friends so they can get to know me better. I hope things go well
- Today (Tuesday)